Many couples seek help in times of upheaval and crisis, though difficulties may well have been present for some time and often the result of long standing hurt and anger. One or other partner may even get to the point they no longer want to be in the relationship, which often leaves them feeling isolated and misunderstood by the other partner. It is quite common for one partner to want to go for help while the other just feels pressurised to come along. This reluctance is often the result of miconceptions about what’s involved, especially the assumption that the therapist will take sides or even worse, judge the person for their actions. Another fear is that it will simply degenerate into arguments, but were this to occur, it would simply recreate in the therapy session the same destructive situation that is happening at home.
The aim is not just to resolve current issues but to develop the basis for communication that can be used in the future. Not all couples are able to successfully resolve their differences and separation is the best resolution, but this does not necessarily mark a failure in the therapeutic process since the real aim is to promote mutual respect between two people, whatever the outcome. The goal is to arrive at a point where a couple can begin to understand each other, and from this basis work together toward finding a solution.